It was a dark and stormy night (because events like these always take place on dark and stormy nights) in the year 1678, when Greenbeard, the pirate lizard, was tracked down by his enemies to a dockside drinking house on the island of Martinique. 

He and his crew fought gallantly and with great bravado, as any respectable swashbuckler should, and for hours the clash of swords echoed through the rain outside, should anyone have been listening. 

Though outnumbered, Greenbeard’s courage was strong. In the best tradition of such brawls, drinking tankards flew through the air, to intersect or collide with participants not paying close enough attention. Tables were turned over, and at least one unfortunate soul, flung over the bar into a row of rum bottles.

But even the bravest lizards cannot fend off a dozen cutthroats forever. Their numbers dwindled until only Greenbeard remained, cornered by the most villainous pirate ever to disgrace the seven seas: the dreaded Captain Seahawk.

Greenbeard’s sword had a streamline build, ergonomic design, and a ruby in the hilt. But he knew that it would be of little use against such an evil foe. Still, he laughed in their faces, raised a claw in defiance, and declared (according to some very questionable witnesses), “Quel imbéciles! You’ll never take my treasure!” Then, with a reptilian flourish, Greenbeard leapt through the window and into the storm raging outside.